Today a clip of Chrissy Teigen and Tyra Banks, on their new show FABLife, is doing the rounds of the internet. Why? Because for the first time the ladies are talking about some very personal issues. Issues that are nobody’s business, yet people feel it’s OK to ask these very personal, intimate and insensitive questions.
Chrissy and Tyra both opened up about the fact that the media and fans on social media are constantly asking them about when they are going to have kids. This question is very invasive, very personal and can be very hurtful. Both have opened up, on their own terms, about struggling with having children. But that was not the focus of this conversation. The focus was the question and how it can make people feel – both men and women!
One of my pet peeves in celebrity interviews is the fact that journalists think it’s a valid question to ask someone when they are having kids. It’s not OK. I would never ask that question of my friends, let alone a stranger! It’s also not OK to pretend like you are not asking the question, when you really are. Just yesterday I saw an entertainment reporter ask “Do you long for the estrogen in the house?” What the actual what the?!
But this is not just happening in the celebrity world. This is something we have all experienced in our lives and it gets me so riled up. There are certain questions that people feel they have a right to ask you, but the fact is, they so do not!
When I didn’t have a boyfriend, I was asked when are you going to get a boyfriend? How can a girl like you not be in a relationship? Then the relationship came along and the next question was when are you getting married? I got married and then it was when are you two going to have kids? We had a kid and now it’s when are you going to have the next kid? And the personal questions go on and on and on.
I would never think to ask someone such personal questions. One, it’s none of my business; and two, I don’t know what that person is going through. I don’t know how that question is going to make that person feel.
I’ve never understood why people think it’s OK to ask these questions and why they feel the need to ask them? How do my responses impact on their lives? Are they asking just because they want everyone making the same decisions they did? Is the answer validating what they are doing in their lives, or, is it making them feel uncomfortable? Do the answers have them questioning their own life choices? They do know that we all make different life choices, right? Some we are fortunate to make and some cruelly rely on other factors that don’t always happen at the time you want or need them to.
People do know that they don’t need anyone’s approval for the way they live their lives right? And, I sure as hell don’t need their approval for my life decisions!
So please, there is so much we can talk about; there are so many interesting questions we can ask each other. So, unless someone invites you into their inner sanctum, remember – stay out, it’s none of your business!
Sarina
